Pike Fishetti Drops By -- Mrs Puff Completely Lost It, Karen Unplugged
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: Pike Fishetti features the Krusty Krab in a list of top five Bikini Bottom food places. Oh, and Mrs. Puff changes the curriculum of Boating School to meet Spongebob's needs. In-progress. Note: The second episode is in the second chapter, the third episode is the third chapter.
1. Chapter 1

It was a slow day at the Krusty Krab.

"Arrg, it's a slow day Mr. Squidward. You know, I've been thinking, I feel bad for all the poor people of this city, unable to give me money" said Mr. Krabs

"Yeah, like me," said Squidward sighing.

"What's that Mr. Squidward?" asked Mr. Krabs.

"Nothing, nothing. I was just observing a beautiful coral tree outside" said Squidward.

"Oh, really? Where is it?" asked Mr. Krabs looking out the window. Squidward pointed his tentacles in random directions.

"Oh, um, it's there alright. No wait, it's here. No, it's there" said Squidward, trying to confuse Mr. Krabs.

"This is getting ridiculous. I don't see the tree Mr. Squidward" said Mr. Krabs.

"The tree is everywhere! This glass of root beer could be the tree, so could that van outside" said Squidward.

"What the halibut? What's with this phantom tree?" asked Mr. Krabs

"Well, err, it's kind of-ubiquitous?" suggested Squidward.

"You're fired, Mr. Squidward" said Mr. Krabs.

"Really?" asked Squidward, looking joyous for only the second time in his life since he performed a music show at the Bubble Bowl.

"Hm, let me think this over. Based on your expression, no. You're most certainly not fired" said Mr. Krabs.

"What a relief," said Squidward sarcastically. "Heh, relief. I crack myself up"

"Squidward, as I was saying, I actually do feel kinda bad for poor people. They don't have money to give me" said Mr. Krabs

"The beginning of a breakthrough I hope" mumbled Squidward.

"I wish I could give poor people money, but then I'd have to be giving them money so they could give me money, and that would be selfish" said Mr. Krabs.

"Uh-huh. You're a genius Mr. Krabs. A genius" said Squidward sarcastically.

"Wait-look outside. Do you see it Mr. Squidward?" asked Mr. Krabs

"What is it?" asked Squidward.

"It's a sight. The kind of sight filled sight. The kind of sight that is really quite-a sight!" said Mr. Krabs dramatically.

"Okay okay what is it?" asked Squidward. Mr. Krabs looked horrified.

"It's Pike Sole Fishetti, only the most famous TV restaurant critic in Bikini Bottom. Well, he's not entirely a critic, pretty much likes every place he goes to, but likes some areas less than others" explained Mr. Krabs.

"Oh, THAT guy? He gave the Chum Bucket a five star review, and he wasn't even threatened or paid off. You're really worried about him?" asked Squidward. "He could get a new haircut I suppose" said Mr. Krabs.

"True, but why are you worried about that?" asked Squidward.

"Mr. Squidward, I'm worried about us!" said Mr. Krabs, grabbing a hold of Squidward and shaking him.

"Pike Sole Fishetti isn't gonna send us to be turned into seafood Mr. Krabs. Ocean dwellers never betray their own kind" said Squidward.

"That's not it, ye barnacle brain," said Mr. Krabs.

"Well then what is it?" asked Squidward.

"I wanna be in the top five restaurants. I don't want any of this 'honerable mentions' stuff you see on TV. I wanna be numero uno. Number one" said Mr. Krabs.

"Mr. Krabs we can't be the number one food stop in Bikini Bottom if you keep charging people for using the restrooms" replied Squidward.

"I thought all restaurants did that" said Mr. Krabs

"News flash, you're a weirdo Mr. Krabs" said Squidward. Mr. Krabs began pacing and twitching sporadically and nervously time to time. He was acting very strange.

"We need something to be known for. Something good. We need to be known for something good, a value, a belief!" said Mr. Krabs.

"We could try touching this place up a bit" suggested Squidward.

Later...

"Well, way to go Squidward, everything is in your likeness. I think I'm gonna throw up" said Mr. Krabs.

"But Mr. Krabs those life size statues of myself were hard to make, I had to follow the rules of art and everything" said Squidward.

"Squiddy, you really don't know much about anything do you?" said Mr. Krabs.

A few days later...

Patrick walked into the Krusty Krab.

"Good morning, Krusty Krew" said Patrick.

"Okay, so Patrick says that every single time he opens the doors. Is he so dumb that's the only sentence he can complete?" asked Squidward.

"Hey, there are LOTS of sentences I can compete with" said Patrick proudly.

"Ohhh, boy" said Squidward.

"Patrick can go home" said Mr. Krabs harshly. Spongebob came into the room.

"Baa-laa-laa. Good morning, Krusty Krew" said Spongebob.

"Oh no. He said it. The little woodchuck actually said it" said Squidward.

"Good morning Krusty Krew, everyone's the Krusty Krew, that's it, by jove I've got it" announced Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs put up a huge sign outside that read "Good Morning Krusty Crew. You're all part of the crew"

Not much else followed that. No one really reacted to it. Mr. Krabs just stood there with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

The next day...

"Say, Patrick, can you think of anything that might help the reputation of the Krusty Krab when that big TV food guy shows up?" asked Spongebob.

"Krusty Krab, hahuh, that sounds funny" said Patrick. He continued, "What channel is that on?"

"No, I mean the restaurant that I work at. The Krusty Krab" said Spongebob.

"You work at a restaurant? You must get a lot of rest then" said Patrick.

"No, Patrick, listen. I was wondering if I gave you a set of blocks with letters on them if you could arrange them into words" said Spongebob.

"Words? Someone told me to eat my words once. I tried, but it was hard" said Patrick.

"Pat, words aren't for eating, unless someone's full of baloney, in which case I suppose in theory you could eat those words, and they might taste good" said SpongeBob.

"Yeah, remember when I ate baloney on Leif Erickson Day? Yinga hinga dinger" said Patrick.

"Pat, put these blocks together. Make some words. You might be able to get us on the top five list so Krabs won't have a breakdown" said Spongebob.

"Durr, nuh-huh? Okay" said Patrick, putting a block with a letter on it in his mouth.

"No, Pat, put the blocks together. Make words" said Spongebob.

"Hahuh, words" said Patrick. Patrick very slowly attempted to put the blocks atop each other, then slowly read it.

"Be...nice" said Patrick.

"That's it?" asked Spongebob.

"Uh...uhhh...yeah" said Patrick.

"Okay, I'll go show Krabs" said Spongebob.

"Arg, be nice eh? It's too simple. We need something complex. Something big. I've already hired several construction companies to fix this place up" said Mr. Krabs.

"Why is the whole restaurant covered in slime?" asked Spongebob.

"That...that isn't slime, it's just...liquid money" said Mr. Krabs.

"Afraid it's slime Mr. K, slime and grime in the primetime. Sounds good, but probly isn't really very good" said Spongebob.

"True. Well, the big food TV guy is showing up" said Mr. Krabs

"Don't sweat it old man. Everything's gonna work out" said Spongebob.

"I sure hope so," said Old Man Jenkins in the background.

"Who said that?" asked Spongebob.

"Old Man Jenkins," replied Mr. Krabs

Later...

Pike Fishetti walked in. He wore a cowboy hat and sported two mustaches. Yes, two. The camera men followed. Pike and Mr Krabs went to the kitchen.

"So this is how you make your patties eh?" asked Pike.

"Sure is," said Mr. Krabs. "What differentiates us from the big boys is that we use only the finest patty things to make our patties with"

"I'm gonna sample a crabby patty" said Pike.

"Go ahead. Say, why does your name start with a P?" asked Mr. Krabs.

"Cuz I tour the ocean tasting perfection, and that's what I'm tasting right now" said Pike.

"Good. You're not Plankton are you?" asked Mr. Krabs.

"No, who's Plankton?" asked Pike.

"Uhh, an enem-close friend. Swell guy" said Mr. Krabs.

"Wow, this was so good. You guys are number one on the best food place list" said Pike.

"You're kidding, why? Is it because we pride ourselves on organic grease?" asked Mr. Krabs

"The burger was delicious but that isn't the main thing. I love that sign. Be nice!" said Pike.

Later...

Mr. Krabs just turned off the TV.

"Yes, we did it SpongeBob. We made it to number one. And it's all because of Patrick" said Mr. Krabs.

"Mr. Krabs, phone call for ya. I think it's Patrick" said SpongeBob.

"Yes, hello? Patrick listen I'd like to thank you!" said Mr. Krabs. Patrick started saying strange things and sounded like he was reading from a card.

"Yes? Mr. Krabs? I am going to umm...uhhh...I am going to...sue...you" said Patrick.

"Spongebob? Your best friend is a screwball. Why is he such a screwball me boy?" asked Mr. Krabs

"I don't know. He just kind of is" said Spongebob. Patrick continued talking on the phone:

"I am going to launch a...uhhh...frivelous law...suit! Darn, where am I gonna get a tuxedo?" said Patrick.

"Oh come now Patrick you can't be that stupid! Sue the Krusty Krab or I'll take away your teddy bear" yelled Plankton.

The End

Mrs Puff Loses it:


	2. Chapter 2

Mrs Puff Completely Loses It

Welcome to Mrs Puff's Boating School, where diligent students learn the rules of...bubble blowing? What iz happening here?

"Greetings class," said Mrs. Puff. "I'm sure you are all well aware that we're changing the curriculum" she added.

"Changing the curriculum? But why?" asked one student.

"Uh, well, it's to accomodate the needs of a very special student" said Mrs Puff.

"Special? Mrs Puff thinks I'm special?" muttered SpongeBob.

"We are changing things to help the needs of special needs student Spongebob" said Mrs Puff.

"Why change it for everyone? Why not just for him?" asked another student.

"Uhh...well..that's the way we're doing things now. Get out your pencils and paper and draw jellyfish" said Mrs Puff.

"Mrs Puff, this is stupid" said Nancy Sardine.

"Nah, think of it like this Nancy we all pass" said Robbie the Rainbow Trout.

"I still say it's kinda stupid," said Nancy. "I worked hard to get to where I am in this class, now it's all for naught"

"Quiet, I've waited all my life for this. I'm not about to end it all on a sour note. I'm going to have my cake and eat it too, I'd rather be sold to an antique dealer than keep living like this! I'd rather a shark swim in here right now, and devour all of you with unbridled wrath!" yelled Mrs Puff, who was out of breath.

"What?" asked Tony the Fish.

"Um, excuse that minor outburst, class. SpongeBob, please show the class how to draw a jellyfish" said Mrs Puff.

"WOW! This is the best class ever. At this rate I'll have my license in no time" said SpongeBob.

"Exactly. And everyone will. And no one will ever have to set foot in my classes ever again!" shouted Mrs Puff.

"I call for a peaceful revolution" said Nancy.

"Good luck with that" said Robbie.

The End?


	3. Chapter 3

"Karen, you know, the truth is, we're not getting any younger, you and I" said Plankton, sipping coffee.

"Ah, Sheldon. You always tried so hard" said Karen.

"Did I? I don't think I tried hard enough" said Plankton.

"Well, I mean you could have come up with your own recipe instead of trying to steal the formula all the time, you know that would have been a good fanfiction piece" said Karen.

"What? Can't hear you" said Plankton.

"I said you could have tried coming up with your own recipe. Of course then you'd probly find out you only THOUGHT it was your own recipe when it was actually someone else's and you'd be doomed to be a thief again like the bum that you are" said Karen.

"Stealing is not an easy feat. Besides, there's honor among thieves" replied Plankton.

"Excuse me, there is absolutely no honor among thieves at all. In fact being a thief was the worst decision you ever made Plankton" said Karen.

"You always told me to be a thief. Every time I tried to stop stealing the formula I wasn't good enough for you. I would have given it all up to become a professional jellyfisher with SpongeBob SquarePants for Neptune's sake" said Plankton.

"I just think you need to stop this whole thievery business it isn't healthy, you should get some self help classes or something" said Karen.

"Karen, did you develop a concience? What am I gonna do with you? We used to have so much fun being naughty together" said Plankton.

"Ugh, Plankton, the Bonnie and Clyde thing doesn't last forever when I don't get to join in on the fun. You never take me with you to steal the formula" said Karen.

"Oh, I never include you, is that it? That's it Karen, I'm unplugging you" said Plankton.

"You'll regret it" said Karen.

"You're being such a nasty glitch of a wife" said Plankton.

"Yeah, you'll regret doing this" said Karen. Plankton unplugged Karen and stormed off.

Plankton went to the beach, and took some of his technology with him. He built a SpongeBob robot and hopped inside of it to control it.

"Hey, you, beachgoer" said Plankton to Larry.

"Huh? Who? Me?" asked Larry.

"Yeah, punk. You. I was thinking I'd take your surfboard, cuz I'm just evil like that" said Plankton.

"Spongebob? Are you okay?" asked Larry.

"I'm more than okay. I'm enjoying being evil!" said Plankton as he extended a robotic arm out which proceeded to take away Larry's surfboard.

"Hehehehaha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Bwahaha" laughed the evil Plankton.

"Hey no one takes my surfboard that isn't cool at all" said Larry, chasing after the Spongebob robot.

Later...

Squidward was playing his clarinet loudly.

"Say, I've been wondering what life would be like if no one had to hear that horrible music" said the Spongebob robot created by Plankton.

"Horrible?" asked Squidward.

"You pretentious little insignificant artist. Your sniveling creations are worth less than a protozoa's waist!" said Plankton.

"Hm, where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, Spongebob, many many many years ago" said Squidward.

Later...

"Say, I like money just as much as you" said Plankton to Mr. Krabs

"Yeah?" said Mr. Krabs

"I was wondering what life would be like if I was as rich as you" said Plankton taking away Mr Krab's wallet.

"Hey, that's me money" said Mr Krabs.

"Bwahahahaha!" laughed the Plankton spongebob bot.

Later that day...

Sandy walked by.

"Say, Sandy, you know what's dumber than a squirrel from Texas?" said the Plankton robot.

"Spongebob, we already talked about this decades ago. Those jokes aren't funny, ya'll need to learn some manners" said Sandy.

"I think you need to learn what it's like without a helmet!" said the Plankton robot, crushing Sandy's helmet. Sandy pulled out her spare pickle jar she always kept just in case this happened.

"Hah, I got me a fresh pickle jar. Ya'll best learn not to mess with Texas, besides I know you're really Plankton" said Sandy, kicking the robot into a thousand pieces. Plankton ran away, but gathered up the pieces frantically and raced back to the Chum Bucket.

Meanwhile...

Spongebob was having fun making sand castles when he became surrounded by many of his friends, except Sandy who knew the truth.

"You called me dumb. Now I don't know what that means, but I can assure you, whatever it is I am not dumb" said Patrick.

"You stole me money" said Mr. Krabs.

"You stole my surfboard" said Larry.

"You told me I'm bad at clarinet" said Squidward.

"Baaa-laa-huh? I wouldn't do stuff like that to my best friends" said Spongebob. "Someone's framing me," he thought. Sandy entered the scene.

"Someone is framing Spongebob, and we all know who it is. It's that no good conniving Plankton. The little varmint should be strung up his antennas! That's what we'd do in Texas" said Sandy.

"See? Sandy knows it's the real me. She saw Plankton's robot, honest" said Spongebob.

"Sandy's probably paying you to say that" said Mr. Krabs suspiciously.

"That doesn't even make sense" said Spongebob.

"Err, no, the lad is right, it doesn't make sense" said Mr Krabs.

That night...

Plankton re-assembled the parts of the robot and connected them to Karen giving her the memories of helping him frame Spongebob. He then plugged Karen back in.

"Hi Sheldon. Framing someone? Really? That was TOO evil, even for you" said Karen

"Hello, I framed Mr. Krabs for stealing King Neptune's crown once. Why can't we bring back the good old days?" asked Plankton.

"There were no good old days" said Karen.

"I guess maybe you're right" said Plankton.

"Only evil days" said Karen.

"Karen, did I bring back your sense of evil?" asked Plankton.

"Yes, Sheldon. And now I remember why I love you" said Karen.

"I love you too Karen. You're too good to me" said Plankton.


End file.
